After a year dogged by allegations of corruption, bribery and deceit, FIFA will set aside its troubles - albeit temporarily - tonight for the pomp and prestige of its annual Ballon d'Or ceremony.
Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo will once again go head-to-head for the top honour in the latest twist in a seven-year tug-of-war between the two strikers, while gongs will also be dished out for the female player of the year, coaches of the year and the Puskas award for best goal of the year.
There's also the small matter of the FIFPro World XI, where the players voted as the best 11 on the planet in 2015 will be revealed.
Follow all the action from the ceremony with our live updates below!
So there we have it. Lionel Messi has picked up an unprecedented fifth Ballon d'Or award, while the USA's hat-trick hero Carli Lloyd was named the female player of the year and Barcelona manager Luis Enrique was crowned coach of the year. Thanks for joining us!
With that, Nesbitt and Abdo bring the ceremony to a close as footballers transition from the audience to the stage to join a beaming Messi.
He continues: "It's incredible this is my fifth. It's much more than anything I've dreamed of as a kid. I want to hank everyone who voted for me and I want to thank my teammates. And lastly, I want to thank football in general for everything it has brought me. Both the bad and the good. Because it has made me learn and grow."
He says: "It's a very special moment for me - to be here be back on the stage, winning the Ballon d'Or again, after being there in the audience watching Cristiano win."
This is it. We are now edging closer to the big one. Out to present the Ballon d'Or is Brazilian legend and 2007 winner Kaka!
Collecting her award, she says: "Wow. It truly is an honour. This has been a dream of mine ever since I started my journey with the national team. I want to thank everyone who voted for me, Jill, the coaching staff and all of our support team. I honestly wouldn't be standing up here without my incredible teammates. We all know it took 23 players to win the World Cup so thank you to them."
Neymar is now out on stage. Nesbitt asks if it will be an awkward plane trip back to Barcelona if he wins, and he replies: "I have two great idols - I've been following them for years, and today I'm sitting alongside both of them. To be here is a dream. If I win, we'll go and have a party and if I don't win, we'll go and have a party."
In his acceptance speech, Lira recounts the story of David and Goliath from the Bible. Sure, it's the perfect analogy.
Time now to finally reveal the winner of the Puskas award for goal of the year. A reminder: the nominees here are Alessandro Florenzi, Wendell Lira and Lionel Messi.
Time for a bit more music now as Leona Lewis entertains the crowd with new single 'Fire Under My Feet'.
Hilarious bants here as Abdo catches Nesbitt backstage forcing Celia Sasic to sign a football for him. This is a big important awards ceremony - what is he like!!!
Here's the World XI - or rather, World X as Manuel Neuer was unable to attend - pictured together moments ago:
Ronaldo is back on stage and talking about his attitude towards the game. "I'm a kid. A big kid. My job is to help my team, to achieve trophies, to score goals, to be part of the team. This is what I love to do. I love to enjoy. I love to make people happy. My fans and everyone who follows me and likes me. I am a glad person and I feel special for that."
Lucas Radebe arrives on stage to present the FIFA Fair Play Award. Bit of an unusual one here as it's being presented "to all of the football clubs and organisations around the world" who have helped with the refugee crisis emanating from the Syrian conflict last year. The award is therefore a bit more theoretical this year.
Time for more strange videos profiling the player of the year nominees. Japan captain Aya Miyama reflects on her achievements in the game while playing Fussball. Then the iPad comes out again - she's received a gushing video message from teammate Shinobu Ohno!
Barcelona's technical secretary Robert Fernandez collects the award on behalf of Enrique, who cannot attend due to his "busy schedule".
Now time for the equivalent in men's football. To recap, the nominees here are Pep Guardiola, Luis Enrique and Jorge Sampaoli.
Abdo is in full show-off mode now, introducing the nominees for the women's coach of the year award in several different languages. Nesbitt is having none of it.
Another clip features Ezequiel Lavezzi watching countryman Messi in action on an iPad, before wondering what Messi will be wearing to the Ballon d'Or. I'll give you one guess, Zeke.
Carli Lloyd features in a bizarre clip in which she receives a video message on her iPad from teammate Hope Solo, before turning to camera and telling Hope how great she is.
Ronaldo at first seems daunted by the question, but after a few seconds gives his considered response. "I have my plan, me and my team, my strategic plan. I want to carry on using my brains. I am very comfortable, this is the most important thing. I am very comfortable."
Nesbitt plucks out a 15-year-old Danish kid from the audience who correctly guessed this year's world XI. His prize is to venture up on stage and ask Ronaldo what he will do after he hangs up his boots.
Eight of those 11 players are from the big two in Spain, with Juve star Paul Pogba making his debut in the side.
Samuel Eto'o is brought out on stage which means it must be time for the FIFPro world XI to be revealed...
The seven bridesmaids in the race for the Puskas award for goal of the year are shown, including Ball's third-tier stunner. This award is the only one voted for solely by members of the public, and the polls are still open for the final three at fifa.com.
Messi SNUBS the English language and instead opts for his native Spanish, muttering something about growing as a player.
Nesbitt turns to Ronaldo and asks what motivates him to keep going. "Keep working hard, dedicate myself 100%," he says. "I still am capable to play more years and to try to be the best like always. I'm still fit, I'm still young, I'm still with the power."
Nesbitt takes a selfie then asks Lloyd about her World Cup win. "I'm super, super happy and proud of my teammates. It was a memorable summer. Our eyes were on that prize and we stayed committed to that and rose to the occasion."
Our hosts for the evening, Abdo and the aforementioned flower-abuser James Nesbitt, welcome us to the ceremony before bringing out the six nominees for male and female player of the year.
One of the cellists has now fallen to the ground and is shaking furiously. I could be wrong but I think the strobe lights have sparked a fit.
Showtime! The aforementioned cellists, Luka Sulic and Stjepan Hauser of 2CELLOS, open up proceedings in the Kongresshaus... by playing their cellos. Meanwhile, footballing highlights from 2015 play out on the big screen.
The stage is set and we're about to get underway in Zurich. As Blatter is banned from being present tonight, I feel it's only right that we pay tribute to his legacy at this juncture by reliving his finest moment as president of world football's governing body.
Only two players on that shortlist play their club football with sides out of Europe - Tevez of Boca Juniors and Italian legend Pirlo, who currently plies his trade for New York City FC in the MLS. All of the players from last year's XI are present and correct in the list save for one - step forward Manchester United flop Angel di Maria.
Before the ceremony gets underway, there's just enough time for us to talk about the FIFPro World XI. More than 26,000 professional footballers playing in over 70 countries around the world were asked to select the planet's best 11 players - one keeper, four defenders, four midfielders, three forwards - from a provided shortlist of 55.
Let's take a look at those nominees:
Goalkeepers: Gianluigi Buffon (Juventus/Italy), Iker Casillas (Porto/Spain), David de Gea (Man Utd/Spain), Keylor Navas (Real Madrid/Costa Rica), Manuel Neuer (Bayern Munich/Germany)
Defenders: David Alaba (Bayern Munich/Austria), Jordi Alba (Barcelona/Spain), Dani Alves (Barcelona/Brazil), Jerome Boateng (Bayern Munich/Germany), Dani Carvajal (Real Madrid/Spain), Giorgio Chiellini (Juventus/Italy), David Luiz (PSG/Brazil), Diego Godin (Atletico Madrid/Uruguay), Mats Hummels (Borussia Dortmund/Germany), Branislas Ivanovic (Chelsea/Serbia), Vincent Kompany (Man City/Belgium), Philipp Lahm (Bayern Munich/Germany), Marcelo (Real Madrid/Brazil), Javier Mascherano (Barcelona/Argentina), Pepe (Real Madrid/Portugal), Gerard Pique (Barcelona/Spain), Sergio Ramos (Real Madrid/Spain), Thiago Silva (PSG/Brazil), John Terry (Chelsea/England), Raphael Varane (Real Madrid/France)
Midfielders: Thiago Alacantra (Bayern Munich/Spain), Xabi Alonso (Bayern Munich/Spain), Sergio Busquets (Barcelona/Spain), Eden Hazard (Chelsea/Belgium), Andres Iniesta (Barcelona/Spain), Toni Kroos (Real Madrid/Germany), Luka Modric (Real Madrid/Croatia), Andrea Pirlo (New York City/Italy), Paul Pogba (Juventus/France), Ivan Rakitic (Barcelona/Croatia), James Rodriguez (Real Madrid/Colombia), David Silva (Man City/Spain), Yaya Toure (Man City/Ivory Coast), Marco Verratti (PSG/Italy), Arturo Vidal (Bayern Munich/Chile)
Forwards: Sergio Aguero (Man City/Argentina), Gareth Bale (Real Madrid/Wales), Karim Benzema (Real Madrid/France), Douglas Costa (Bayern Munich/Brazil), Zlatan Ibrahimovic (PSG/Sweden), Robert Lewandowski (Bayern Munich/Poland), Lionel Messi (Barcelona/Argentina), Thomas Muller (Bayern Munich/Germany), Neymar (Barcelona/Brazil), Arjen Robben (Bayern Munich/Netherlands), Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid/Portugal), Wayne Rooney (Man Utd/England), Alexis Sanchez (Arsenal/Chile), Luis Suarez (Barcelona/Uruguay), Carlos Tevez (Boca Juniors/Argentina)
As I mentioned, the Puskas award encompasses goals scored in every division around the planet - and this year, a strike from England's third tier made the ten-strong shortlist. Cue striker David Ball, who scored this stunner for Fleetwood Town against Preston North End in League One last March.
The final nomination for goal of the season comes from Messi himself, who is somewhat surprisingly making his debut on the shortlist this year. The effort in question is this wonder goal, scored against Athletic Bilbao as Barcelona triumphed in the Copa del Rey final last May.
Our second contender comes from Roma's Alessandro Florenzi, who found the net from 50 yards out to level the scores during a Champions League group encounter with Barcelona last September.
One of the most hotly-contested awards is always the Puskas award for goal of the year, which honours the best strike from any league, competition or country in the world. Let's take a look at the three contenders, starting with this fabulous goal from Wendell Lira for Goianesia in the Brazilian football league.
The USA's Carli Lloyd, who became only the second player to score a hat-trick in a World Cup final after Sir Geoff Hurst, leads the nominees in the category for women's player of the year. Japanese midfielder Aya Miyama and Germany's Celia Sasic also get nods for making vital contributions at the tournament last summer.
The female coach of the year award will be contested by the USA World Cup-winning manager Jill Ellis; Norio Sasaki, manager of losing finalists Japan; and Mark Sampson, who led England to their best ever showing at a World Cup with a third-place finish.
There are several other awards to get through before we reach our shuddering climax tonight, however. The coach of the year category is headed up by Luis Enrique, who led Barcelona to a memorable treble - the La Liga title, the King's Cup and the Champions League - in his first season in charge. Pep Guardiola is also nominated after a season in which he took Bayern Munich to their third consecutive Bundesliga title, while Jorge Sampaoli gets a nod for leading Chile to victory in the Copa America.
Who decides on this award, anyway? Unlike the FIFPro World XI, which is decided by tens of thousands of players from around the world, the Ballon d'Or itself is decided by a more elite group. National team coaches and captains, plus a select group of journalists chosen in part by FIFA, rank the three contenders in order of preference with five points, three points and one point respectively. The player with the highest number of points in total is named the winner. Simples.
Traditionally, every year one other footballer is invited to watch on from the sidelines as the pair play out their tug-of-war, with the honour most recently falling to German keeper Manuel Neuer. This year, however, there is genuine belief that the third person in the running - Messi's Barcelona teammate Neymar, making his first appearance on the shortlist - could challenge the old duopoly and manage to finish as runner-up.
All of that is merely foreplay for the main event, however, one which has been dominated by the rivalry between Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo for the last six years. The Argentine has the superior record, winning every year from 2009 to 2012, and is the only person to have won the trophy four times. Ronaldo, meanwhile, first took the honour in 2008 when he was at Manchester United and has also managed back-to-back wins for the last two years as a Real Madrid player.
Our hosts tonight will be Kate Abdo, the cunning linguist of Sky Sports News, and James Nesbitt, most famous for using his buttocks as a vase in Cold Feet. Entertainment will come from singer Leona Lewis (here's hoping she dedicates a performance of 'Trouble' to Blatter) and 2CELLOS, a pair of young Croatian cellists.
What can we expect tonight? Well, one face you won't be seeing is that of disgraced FIFA president Sepp Blatter, who has been prevented from attending under his eight-year ban from all footballing activities. The German has described this event as his "baby" as he technically created it in 2010 when he had the idea to merge the FIFA World Player of the Year award with the Ballon d'Or award given by France Football magazine.
Hello and welcome to Sports Mole's live coverage of the 2015 Ballon d'Or ceremony. Forget your Golden Globes, tonight it's all about the Golden Ball as football's greatest gather in Zurich for FIFA's annual showpiece. Proceedings will get underway in about an hour's time at the Kongresshaus, which is about three miles west of FIFA HQ.
