Whether it all goes a bit Jeremy Kyle out on the field, or ends with Sir Alex Ferguson wearing a pizza in the tunnel, Arsenal vs. Manchester United is a fixture that has often thrown up drama - even if it is occasionally for the wrong reasons. Okay so we no longer have the fiery subplots in the form of Patrick Vieira and Roy Keane, or Arsene Wenger and Fergie, but few can doubt that this fixture remains a blockbuster in the football calendar. It's more of a blockbuster than Bob Holness in a video shop and we're covering every single kick! Let's go.

We've got, hmm, two hours to kill before kickoff - and another hour before the teams are even released. What to do? Link my arm as we take a mosey on down memory lane and review some of the classics that this meeting has thrown up, shall we?

We just can't use the word 'classic' and not start at Villa Park, in 1999. That FA Cup semi-final was your one-stop shop. Brilliant goals. Disallowed goals. Red cards. Late penalties. Late missed penalties. Chest hair that makes Marouane Fellaini's barnet look like a crew cut. It had everything.

Dennis Bergkamp cancelled out David Beckham's superb curling effort from outside the box to leave it at 1-1. Roy Keane saw red for, well, being Roy Keane just minutes after Nicolas Anelka saw his goal chalked off for offside. Against 10 men, the Gunners seemed certain to reach the final - and Bergkamp had a chance to seal it with a last-minute penalty, but Peter Schmeichel kept him out. Patrick Vieira then cheaply lost possession. Who picked it up? I think we know.

Ryan Giggs latched on to the ball, ran from his own half en route to scoring one of the best solo goals that the competition had seen. It put United into the final and they went on to achieve the treble. Arsenal fans and people with a phobia of Austin Powers-esque body hair should look away right about....now.

Arsenal had to wait three years to get some sort of revenge. They did not knock the Red Devils out of the FA Cup semi-final with a last-minute winner, but they did beat them at Old Trafford to seal the Premier League title in 2002. Long before 'Agueroooooooooooo' there was 'Wiltooooooooord'. Martin Tyler's commentary is equally as memorable as the goal itself.

It was Sylvain Wiltord who struck on 56 minutes as the Gunners clinched a 1-0 win in the Theatre of Dreams to snatch the title back from United, who had won the Premier League in each of the last three seasons. It was a victory that certainly healed some of the pain endured at Villa Park in 1999 and Arsenal, for the second time in four years, were champions! United fans, and United fans who want to forget that Mikael Silvestre ever played for you, will want to look away right about.....now.

We have only scratched the surface, my friends.

Fast forward 18 months or so and while a 0-0 draw between both sides cannot be considered a classic, it can, and is, remembered by every Arsenal and Manchester United fan.

It's stoppage time. Ruud van Nistelrooy has the chance to get one over on the old enemy after a winning a very late and very controversial penalty. At this stage, the Arsenal boys were already irate at the Dutchman in the belief that his theatrics got Patrick Vieira sent off earlier in the contest. Van Nistelrooy, with one of the best penalty records around, steps up and crashes his effort against the crossbar. Seconds later, the final whistle goes and the Arsenal players, well, just take a look!

Nowadays the rivalry looks softer than Ant and Dec throwing rolls of Charmin at Niall Horan, compared to what it was over a decade or go. What's that? You want more controversial moments from this fixture? Fair enough so.

That penalty miss proved very, very significant because the Gunners went on to stay unbeaten in the 2003-04, en route to winning the Premier League title. They were undefeated for 49 games. Why wasn't it 50, I hear you ask? Well, suffice to say United, and indeed Van Nistelrooy, got their own back.

It's the 2004-05 season, at Old Trafford, and Wenger's men are looking for a milestone 50 undefeated outings. United, however, had other plans. They kicked the living you know what out of Arsenal. Imagine 11 Diego Costa's and you're picturing the Red Devils' mentality on the day. Arsenal, in truth, couldn't hack the physicality and that was perhaps the game which showed the likes of Bolton Wanderers et al that roughing up the Gunners works - and works well.

Goals from Van Nistelrooy, a penalty, and another from Wayne Rooney on his 19th birthday did the damage. United won 2-0. There was no on-the-field melees this time - but there were in the tunnel! With a sense of injustice, Arsenal took the fight to the tunnel and Ferguson reportedly ended up having pizza thrown at him by a 17-year-old Cesc Fabregas. Here's a reminder of the fiery contest:

The reverse fixture at Highbury also kicked off before, well, it had even kicked off! Putting Vieira and Keane within 100 feet of each other is always bad news. I suppose it's a little like putting a lion in the same cage as tiger. It's just bad, bad news - but it made for a superbly-entertaining subplot. Tensions reached boiling point in 2005. Did they ever!

Vieira was on the scoresheet, but United won the game 4-2, with a young Cristiano Ronaldo netting a brace. Who else scored? Why only John O'Shea, who chipped - yes CHIPPED - Manuel Almunia. You can tell John isn't used to scoring such goals, because he wasn't too sure what to do afterwards.

Incidentally, that was the last time Keane and Vieira faced off in the Premier League. A tear rolled down the face of English football. Or maybe it was a bit of blood. Who knows.

We're coming to the end of our recap, because team news is on the horizon, but we can't ignore this. We just can't, as much as Arsenal fans were hoping we would. Yep, it's the 8-2 win, my friends.

'I'd 8-2 be an Arsenal fan'. Remember this? Twitter and Facebook was rife with this rather clever joke in August, 2011. Why? Because, well, the Gunners had lost 8-2 at Old Trafford. It was so bad that Ferguson admitted afterwards that he felt sorry for Wenger and Arsenal. We should point out that Arsenal were missing quite a few of their big names, but even still, 8-2! Take a look at that one here.

Right, we're getting very close to team news. Excited? Me too I love team news. But first, mosey on down to Sports Mole HQ to see what the lads make of this one.

I'd like to think we've whetted the appetite quite well so far. But there's more! Yep, a preview. Have a quick read of this bad boy and we'll be back in, say, three minutes with the first XIs. See you soon.

ARSENAL XI: Cech; Bellerin, Mertesacker, Gabriel, Monreal; Coquelin, Cazorla, Ozil; Ramsey, Sanchez, Walcott

UNITED XI: De Gea, Young, Smalling, Blind, Darmian, Carrick, Schweinsteiger, Mata, Rooney, Memphis, Martial

ARSENAL SUBS: Ospina, Debuchy, Chambers, Gibbs, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Campbell, Giroud

UNITED SUBS: Romero, Jones, McNair, Schneiderlin, Valencia, Fellaini, Wilson

We'll start with the Gunners then and very little surprise from them. Laurent Koscielny is injured so Per Mertesacker returns to partner Gabriel in the heart of defence. David Ospina makes way for Petr Cech after his horror show against Olympiacos. Theo Walcott is preferred to Olivier Giroud up front as expected. Alexis Sanchez, who has four goals in his last two, starts on the left andAaron Ramsey, without a goal this season, starts on the right. The much-maligned Mesut Ozil, meanwhile, sits behind Walcott.

On to United now and in-form Anthony Martial leads the line, with Memphis Depay and Juan Mata either side of him while Wayne Rooney sits in behind. Further back, Bastian Schweinsteiger remains in midfield but Morgan Schneiderlin makes way for Michael Carrick. Ashley Young continues at left-back in the absence of Luke Shaw, with Chris Smalling and Daley Blind in the middle of defence in front of David de Gea.

Given the history of this rivalry, I guess the current manifestation looks quite soft as we said. Everybody seems, well, nice to each other now. Wenger likes Louis van Gaal. Louis van Gaal likes Wenger. Instead of throwing pizza at one another, both teams are more likely to eat some together now. We want spice. Vitriol. Anger. Martin Keown almost decapitating Van Nistelrooy with his bicep. We won't be getting a throwback to late 90s and early noughties. That's a given, but let's hope this one serves up a cracker - and you know what, it just might.

Both sides have endured, well, mixed early-season form so far. That sense of unpredictability makes for a potentially cracking match. Let's have a look at their form so far.

We'll start with the visitors and only Swansea City have managed to beat them in the Premier League this season - 2-1 defeat in South Wales prior to the international break. They've drawn one and won five, but it could be argued that this is their biggest season of the season so far. This is United's first clash with a fellow top-four club thus far and it's very interesting to see Van Gaal's troop fare.

They've been slightly erratic in the Champions League, losing 2-1 at PSV Eindhoven in a clash that saw them lose Luke Shaw until May. They fell behind at home to Wolfsburg during the week, but Juan Mata inspired the come-from-behind win with a penalty and a brilliant assist as Van Gaal's men escaped with a 2-1 victory.

Speaking of being pony in Europe, talk to me about Arsenal. Dinamo Zagreb beat them. Olympiacos beat them. Their next game is with Bayern Munich and, well, the Gunners' hopes of reaching the last 16 are about as slim as a catwalk model. They've been truly dreadful, with Wenger's rotation experiment backfiring (again) after losing 3-2 here to the Greek side on Tuesday. Historically, Arsenal have breezed through the group stages but it's a big ask for them to reach the second round now.

And, worryingly, they haven't exactly set the world alight domestically either. They opened up their campaign with a 2-0 defeat at home West Ham United, which proved that suggestions of a serious title bid may be well wide of the mark. Things picked up again very briefly, before ill discipline got the better of them in a 2-0 defeat at Chelsea, with Wenger's men finishing that one with nine men! They've been erratic, have Arsenal. Very erratic, but a win here would do them the world of good as far as confidence goes.

Just under half-an-hour to go. Head to head? Anyone? Okay.

DID YOU KNOW? United's 2-1 win here last season was Van Gaal's first away win as Red Devils boss? Yep, true. That being said, United are unbeaten in their last four trips to Arsenal and they've never made it to five since the Premier League began. Omen? Who knows.

In fact, ominously for Arsenal, they have struggled against United more than any other side in the Premier League era, winning 24% of the time. She figured out those percentages. Maybe.

Let's see what Twitter is saying about this one.

Oh dear. Mr Morgan can only forsee "pain" for his beloved Gunners this evening.

Sarcastic Gooner is predicting an Arsenal win! Classic.

Jody is keeping her cards close to her chest. Kinda.

Here's a feel-good prediction from Matt.

Who said Steve Lomas beards were going out of fashion? Balderdash. This fella is bringing it back.

He may or may not get this wrong, but Dr-B Eazy can console himself with the fact - and it is a fact - that he the best Twitter handle.

Five minutes to go! Hard to believe we've been here for two hours. Kickoff is right around the corner and, personally, I can't wait. Let's go.

KICKOFF: Cracking atmosphere already and we're underway in North London. Let's go.

Decent start by the Gunners as Cazorla fizzes a wonderful ball into the box but De Gea flaps it away. They've got a corner now. It's been a high-energy start from the hosts, but Cazorla's set piece comes to nothing.

We're in the fifth minute and I don't think United have left their half yet. They're being penned in but nothing coming from the Arsenal pressure as of yet.

We said it's been an excellent start for Arsenal but it's gotten much, much better in the space of a few minutes. First, Ozil, on his weaker right foot, fizzed a wonderful ball into the box which Sanchez flicked in at the near post. Superb finish. It's then two when Walcott lays it off the German, who side foots past a rooted De Gea. Astonishing start at the Emirates.

Can United get back into it then? Of course. There's 80 minutes left! But will they? That's the big question. Arsenal have a brilliant tempo and stopping them from scoring will be tricky. They're up for this.

They're playing some cracking ball early on Arsenal. Ozil drills a ball at Sanchez, who passes across the face of goal for Walcott but Blind is there to clear the danger.

Here are the views of Sports Mole's Dan Lewis on Arsenal's rip-roaring start this evening:

"Well how about that for a start! Before United could settle themselves into the game, the Gunners bag themselves two goals in the space of 60 seconds. The Red Devils are looking to play a very high line, but this major early setback will surely rattle them somewhat. It will be interesting to see what Louis van Gaal does from this point on. Plenty of time left, of course, yet his side already have a mountain to climb."

The Red Devils seeing a bit more of the ball now, but they're still penned in their own half. They're forced to play hopeful and hopeless long balls up top to Anthony Martial, who has not had a sniff as of yet. Quieter than Bjork in a library.

Big defensive header from Per Mertesacker here as he prevents Martial from reaching Rooney's lofted ball. It's United's best spell of the match this, which doesn't speak volumes, but it's progress.

Astonishing. Just astonishing. We said this fixture is always a blockbuster and it's living up to its billing - albeit in a very one-sided manner. It's Sanchez again, who has an acre of space down the left-hand side as he latches on to Walcott's pass. He shrugs off a weak challenge from Darmian, before smashing past De Gea from just inside the box. He's on his second hat-trick in the space of eight days!

United seeing a lot of the ball now but it's such a big ask. It really is. Getting back into this one involves taking risks, and Arsenal look in the mood to punish them at the back. At the moment, taking risks equals more goals conceded. It's catch-22.

Much better from United. Martial takes somebody on for the first time as he beats Bellerin before drilling one into the box, but Mertesacker gets it away for a corner, which came to nothing.

That being said, if there's a team you want to be 3-0 down against, it's surely Arsenal. They've got history of, how should we put this, completely bottling it! However, they look in fine mood today.

BOOKING: Darmian goes into the book for tugging back Sanchez, who had shown him a clean pair of heels. That's not ideal. He's on a disciplinary tightrope, and Sanchez is a gust of wind in this first half-hour.

Bit of a scare here as Mertesacker took a touch in the box rather than clearing, and Martial nipped in behind him to force a corner, which again came to nothing.

CHANCE! It could, and should, be 4-0 folks. Sanchez floats a brilliant ball for Ramsey at the back post, but the Welshman's first-time side-footed volley is high and wide. What a chance.

The Gunners are as penetrative as I've seen them in years! They're carving United open for fun and I wouldn't be surprised to see a fourth before the break. It's not as one-sided as it was in terms of general play and possession, but if there is a fourth goal to come before half time then it'll be the hosts.

SHOT! This is Theo Walcott's dream game. He's got so much space to run into as he latches on to Ozil's ball, but the angle is against him and he pulls it well wide. Still, there's definitely goals here for Walcott because United's tactics favour him.

Sports Mole's Dan Lewis says this will get much worse for Louis van Gaal and co unless the Dutchman switches things up:

"United really are rattled at the moment, and it would have been four if not for Ramsey's rather poor miss. The Red Devils are losing the battle in every department - particularly in midfield where Carrick and Schweinsteiger appear to be passengers. Cazorla is calling all the shots as far as Arsenal are concerned, and if Wenger's men keep their foot on the gas this could get even more embarrassing for the visitors."

SAVE! This could be absolutely crucial in the context of the game as Petr Cech keeps out Martial from close range. 3-1 at half time is totally different than 3-0. That would've done United the world of good.

Have we caught our breath? Good. What a first 45 minutes for Arsenal. Arsene Wenger is unlikely to have dreamt of such a start. Three goals - excellent ones, at that - and the Gunners, as it stands, are leapfrogging the Red Devils into second spot behind Manchester City.

Sanchez got the show on the road with a brilliant near-post flick to connect with Ozil's pass. The German schemer made it two about a minute later, side-footing past a rooted David De Gea after good work from Walcott. Then, the third and potentially killer goal. Walcott spread the ball to Sanchez, who shrugged off a weak challenge from Darmian before smashing past the Spanish goalkeeper into the top corner. It was a fine, fine finish from a player who is aiming for a second successive Premier League hat-trick.

It could, and probably should, be 3-1 though. Anthony Martial had a golden opportunity to reduce the arrears just before the break, but he shot straight at Cech from close range. It was a massive moment in the game and, had they scored, a comeback would've been much more likely.

KICKOFF: Right, United, who replace Darmian and Depay with Valencia and Fellaini, get us underway. Is there any way back? Surely not, but you never know. If we're honest, nobody would be surprised, would they?

United have bossed the early stages of the second period by way of possession, but they need a lot more than that. They need magic and it remains to be seen who will provide it. Rooney? Mata? Martial? They've got the potential, but nothing doing yet.

SHOT! Promising from United as left-back Ashley Young cruises through a big gap in midfield before trying his luck from about 25 yards, but Cech is equal to it.

Arsenal will do a you know what in their collective shorts if United get one back. So would any team. With a three-goal lead comes the anxiety of potentially blowing it and Arsenal, as we said, have previous. But so far so good.

Let's check back in with Sports Mole's Dan Lewis:

"So where do United go from here? LVG has to change something at the break - possibly in midfield - or else his side could be on the end of a thumping. In fairness to the Red Devils, Martial could - and probably should - have pulled one back before the break. Something for United supporters to hold on to while things look bleak: Only two sides have ever bounced back from 3-0 down at half time in a Premier League game - Man United (vs. Spurs) and Leicester (vs. Wolves)."

SHOT! Ozil flashes a half volley just wide of De Gea's goal after the wall blocked his free kick. Prior to that, Coquelin was booked for a foul on Rooney.

BOOKING: Rooney goes into the book after fouling Ozil. It was brilliant from Sanchez to spark the counter.

United been much better in this half. They're playing like a team who had been given one last hairdryer treatment from Fergie during the break. But possession counts for nothing. They need magic, as we said.

Arsenal still dangerous on the counter and if not for a poor first touch from Ramsey then it's probably 4-0. Home fans still in fine voice.

Ramsey's been the only Arsenal player below par in this first hour or so. He cheapy concedes possession to Rooney here as United break on the counter, but Martial's route to goal was shut by big Mertesacker. They've got a corner now.

SAVE! Cech beats away Rooney's half volley as United exert more pressure now. They have to make the most of these spells.

Fellaini has certainly added something of a physical presence but he's not going to produce that piece of magic that United so desperately need in order to spark a comeback.

Wenger has changed things up a little as Arsenal switch to 4-5-1. Probably wise, given how much United were dominating the midfield since the break. As time goes on, the less of an attacking force Arsenal will be.

Brilliant from Cech as he races off his line to thwart Schweinsteiger I think. Some say he's not as brave as he once was due to his head injury but he's courageous here. United still toiling.

Good defending from Mertesacker as he holds off Fellaini, allowing the ball to roll into Cech's arms as United continue to struggle in the final third. The possession stakes must be at least 70-30 in their favour, but it's not happening in the box.

CHANCE! Should be 4-0. Simple as. Ozil creates the chance, spreading the ball wide to Monreal, who puts it on a plate for the German whose first-time finish from outside the box is straight at De Gea this time. No direction on his hit.

Mertesacker has been excellent this evening. He's been in the right place at the right time so often and he thrashes away Martial's cross here.

SUBS: Arsenal make their first subs as Olivier Giroud replaces Walcott, while Mesut Ozil comes off for Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Ozil was absolutely brilliant and he looks disappointed to be coming off.

Sports Mole's Dan Lewis says that it isn't too late for United, insisting all they need is a goal to put the jitters on fragile Arsenal.

"A much improved showing from United in these last 30 minutes, but they just haven't been able to bag themselves a goal. Even at this late stage a breakthrough strike for the Red Devils will completely change the complexion of things, because if there is one side who become fragile when under pressure it is the Gunners."

SUB: Some 60,000 people on their feet now as Alexis Sanchez comes off to huge applause and boy does he deserve it. Two excellent goals this evening. He's replaced by Kieran Gibbs. Ten minutes to go.

SUB: United also make their last sub as the disappointing Mata comes off for young striker James Wilson.

Five minutes to play and that should be about that. United have had lots of possession but they're lacking a bit of magic. We said that Martial's miss may prove costly and it probably has.

CHANCE! Arsenal break and it should be 4-0 when Oxlade-Chamberlain finds an unmarked Giroud in the box, but the Frenchman's first-time sweep on his weaker right foot is straight at De Gea.

OFF THE BAR! Very, very nearly 4-0 as Oxlade-Chamberlain dinks over De Gea, but it's against the bar.

Well, that's it! It was a low-key second half of few chances at either end, but the rip-roaring start more than made up for it.

Goals from Sanchez - who scored twice - and Ozil did the damage inside a phenomenal first 20 minutes. United had no answer, despite plenty of possession in the second half. Anywho, that's us. Cheers for tuning into our live text commentary and we'll see you next time.